


Doubtful

by frobishounen



Series: Silences [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Affection, Anxiety, Asexual Character, Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Ficlet, Fluff, M/M, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-15 07:38:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9225224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frobishounen/pseuds/frobishounen
Summary: Post-kiss Viktor hides away with anxiety.





	

The kiss burned Viktor's lips a long time afterwards. He needed to find somewhere to go. Sitting by Yuuri made him feel too many eyes on him. Gazes pierced his jacket and he felt them on his bare skin. Anxiety pooled in his chest.

Viktor’s eyes would always find Yuuri’s. He looked at him smiling on the podium. He looked at him at the press release. Yuuri _was_ shining. He looked happy and successful and Viktor loved it, and he wanted to be there and hug him again and show how proud he was. He’d done so much better than the year before, and he would go so far.

But Viktor doubted himself again. He looked down and quietly sneaked out of the crowds, avoiding the other skaters and coaches, and especially his fans. He went to the hotel room alone. He turned his back to his reflection when he stepped in the lift - he didn’t want to be looked at.

The room stood there empty and clean, the bare minimum spread on the bed and the floor next to it. Viktor knocked over an empty water bottle when he walked to the bed and sat on the bed, facing the window that lit the room with the lights of the city. He switched a bedside lamp on and cast his eyes to the mat, not quite looking at anything. He felt his pulse at his temple, against his bare fingertips. His gloves were at the side. The world was loud and quiet and swirling.

It was their first proper kiss. They’d pecked before, stolen quick nuzzles and halfway-theres but Viktor’s surprise really surprised both of them. International television, gasping audience, his bruising hug on Yuuri’s exhausted body. His scorching lips against his own, eyes closed to feel it was just the two of them for a second.

Before long they gathered themselves up, picked up the given flowers, headed off to sit somewhere behind the scenes. That wasn’t the time to talk about it.

Viktor wasn’t there to hear how Yuuri searched for him, walking briskly through the masses to catch a glimpse of his coach who’d simply vanished without a word and with his phone on do not disturb.

The hotel room carried on as usual. A draft moved the curtains and Viktor could tell one of the windows was slightly open. The cars below passed as a continuous stream of noise until his ears got used to it and it blended in with the air conditioning and the faint steps of ghosts upstairs. Someone dragged a suitcase across the hallway and bumped it gently against the wall.

A pair of hurried steps reached the room eventually, and when Yuuri opened the door with his key card Viktor could tell he’d been looking for him. Yuuri was a little out of breath from running the stairs, and a little disheveled after the competition, still carrying a bag of his things, cheeks flushed and glasses in a slight angle.

“I was worried,” Yuuri said when he looked in and saw Viktor from the doorway. He kicked his shoes off his feet and went to sit down on the bed. “Are you okay?” Viktor looked up, put on an expression. 

“I’m so proud of you!” he exclaimed. He concealed his grief with a smile.

Yuuri assessed Viktor in a single glance and knew that something was wrong. The air felt unsettled in the room.

“That went quite well, didn’t it,” Yuuri said, smiled a little. Viktor still held the same face. His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. They looked tired. 

“How’s your evening been?” asked Yuuri. He looked at Viktor again, his gaze gentle and open. He unzipped his jacket and let it fall behind him on the bed. It could wait.

Viktor kept lying for a moment and Yuuri let him. He asked questions and sat there. Close, not quite touching. How had he felt at the press event? Had Yuuri said the right things? Did it bring back memories? What did he want to do the next day? Did he miss Makkachin?

“Your tie was horrible the last time,” Viktor said. “I’m taking you shopping later.”

“What are we getting for you?” Yuuri asked. Viktor was quiet, thought for a while. He was less tense but not quite relaxed yet. _Just give me a hug._ “Something warm.” Yuuri rested his head against Viktor’s shoulder and smiled as he took his hand. “Okay.”

Viktor breathed. Maybe he hadn’t messed up after all.

When the night came they got ready for bed. Viktor was still oddly quiet, Yuuri noted when he looked up from his phone. He’d been texting Phichit who wanted to go out but he’d politely declined. They would be flying early anyway. Viktor went to bed and switched the light off.

“Good night,” he said and turned away. Yuuri went to bed later. He felt Viktor’s weight on the bed and found himself shifting close and eventually pressing his cheek against the back of Viktor’s neck, drawing a soft gasp from him. Viktor tensed a little. “Did I wake you?” asked Yuuri. “Mm, it’s okay.” Viktor smiled, Yuuri could hear. He took that as a yes for a little more and shifted to lie against Viktor, his arm around him. The sigh he heard was a pleasant one.

“Go back to sleep,” he said. He closed his eyes and stayed near. He held a little tighter.

“Do you think we should talk about it?” Viktor asked. He was a little more awake now.

“We can. But we should try to sleep,” Yuuri said. “What did you want to say?” His voice was more curious than dismissive. Viktor realised Yuuri hadn’t thought they needed to discuss it and he wondered why. Because it didn’t matter, or because it was something he’d accepted and enjoyed? Because he was hurt or embarrassed? At the same time Viktor felt at ease in his arms and he couldn’t but let the warmth of his embrace lull him closer to sleep again, even if his mind had been alerted. His questions dissolved slowly into the warm embrace.

“You did really surprise me,” Yuuri said in a voice that woke a warmth in Viktor’s chest. 

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea when to post these like should I throw one in every week or so... Tbh it doesn't really matter? Thanks for reading anyway! xoxo


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